We are passively scripted by our parents Essay Example for Free

We are passively scripted by our parents EssayOne question that almost every individual ponders upon at least once in his or her life is whether the life that we realize been handed down is an open book which we can redeem in any way we feel like or is it a pre-written script that we are scarcely enacting? Are our behavior patterns, emotions, responses our very own, determined by our own selves or are they pre-programmed into us genetically, by our parents, teachers etc? Before directly looking at any possible answer, let us discuss nigh interesting aspects about life. Firstly, for any external circumstance or event, the responses of different individuals are usually different. As an example if a boy leaves his girlfriend for nearlyone else, the resulting response in the girl can shift from mild anger to temporary sadness, to even acute depression. These differences in emotive behavior are grow in the belief patterns, concepts and ideas that are ingrained in every individu al. The A-B-C theory of per watchwordality by Albert Ellis, elaborates this betoken by saying that in any life situation, the activating event (A) does not lead to the wound up consequence (C).Rather, the emotional consequence is triggered by the beliefs (B) of the individual. A healthy and rational set of beliefs can desex a healthy, strong individual fleck a person with irrational beliefs is much more believably to endure pain and suffering from the same set of cards that life deals out. So of what is responsible for forming these beliefs in any individual? I think a lot of aspects in our life are pre-programmed, genetically into our dust.Many other beliefs become a part of us during our pincerhood and depend on the social, pagan and economic environment of the electric razor, on the parents and teachers and some of these beliefs are created by us on our own. To elucidate on the first point let us look at the simple example of gender. We all go to bed or have seen how me n and women intrinsically differ in interpreting different situations and in their reactions to them. In any difficult or crisis situation men are usually more level headed while women more emotional.Similarly, in tender-hearted relationships, women are more intuitive than men and therefore perform better. though this varies widely and we have level headed women as much as we have intuitive men, we can see that gender often does play a role in determining behavior patterns and this is something scripted into us from our birth. For such patterns that are pre-programmed by birth itself, I think while it is very difficult or almost impossible to change these patterns, recognizing them can help us deal with them and subdue the temper they have on us.I would say the second set of beliefs that is rooted in our childhood is the most large one in the determination of our personality. A child picks up a huge amount of stuff, two directly and indirectly, from his or her environment, paren ts, teachers and friends. Unknowingly it is often the parents who pass on their fears and phobias to a child. permit us take the example of an adult who is afraid of phantom. When the activating event (A) is a sudden mightiness disruption in the house, consequence (C) is fear.Now for another adult for the same event, the consequence (C) will possibly be mild irritation. Now this person who is scared of the dark was not born with this fear. In event a toddler, he would fearlessly walk into dark corners and places. However, his mother had this fear of darkness which she passes on to her child through her behavior. A child learns from his mother. Walking down a dark alley, the mother suddenly grips her sons hand very firmly and hisses, Dont leave my hand, it is dark The child learns darkness is something very dangerous I should be afraid of it.In this way knowingly or unknowingly, the childs parents, teachers, environment etc knock up in him concepts and behavior patterns that play a big role in determining his or her attitude to life in the years to come. However, I do feel that some of the concepts are self-created and whether to continue believing in something that has been a part of ones belief system since childhood is also up to oneself. By recognizing unhealthy patterns in ourselves we can train ourselves to not abide like mere programmed objects but actively choose to respond in an intelligent manner.As human beings we can strive to throw out every irrational belief in our system and instill rational thoughts to counter them. Though an uphill task, I think it is certainly one that can be done and if every undesirable belief cannot be thrown out of us completely, the strength of their control on us can surely be minimized.?Works Cited1. Cognitive Behavior Therapy, Individual rede Theory and Practice, James J. Messina (www. coping. org/write/C6436counselther/lectures/C6436-9th-CBT. ppt